Baby Cop Can't Be Stopped
by The Plastic Owl
Summary: An MPREG masterpiece. Gene Hunt stuffs Sam Tyler with his sperm, which leads to… life. On Mars.


Baby Cop Can't Be Stopped

 _An MPREG masterpiece. Gene Hunt stuffs Sam Tyler with his sperm, which leads to… life. On Mars._

"Oh, diddly piss!" Yelled Chris Skelton, as he fell back on his tight firm tennis ball buttocks in a stairwell.

"Serk mee deeek, yer copperrr!" The Big Crim hurried away, his big gut swinging in front of him. He was stopped by Sam Tyler, a tiny little man who had the tenacity of a bulldog, and the countenance of a Rex cat that had been dunked in custard against its own will.

"BWAH!"

"Waahr!"

Sam headbutted the Big Crim right in his gunt, and the Big Crim went down like a ten pence hooker.

"CHRIS ARE YOU ORRIGHT?"

"Yes, Sam."

Sam moved his face closer to Chris, and poked out his tongue. His tongue touched Chris's tongue. This was deliberate, as they were both horny, and had their mouths open.

"Oi! Stop being so horny! The guv won't like this horniness!" It was Ray Somefuckinname.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT THE GUV LIKES! I ONLY CARE WHAT CHRIS LIKES!" Shouted back Sam. Chis nuzzled his long face into Sam's ferocious but miniscule man tits.

"Wass this? Gasp!"

It was Guv.

"Woooorrrrrurrrrrggghhh!" The Guv shook his fists at Sam and Chris's horniness.

"THIS IS LOVE FROM THE FUTURE! I'M NOT FROM YOUR WORLD!" Sam shouted back. Sam always shouted.

"I'm going to go to your future and fuck its arse! Bwerrrrrgghhuuuuurrrrggh!"

The Guv stomped away, but not before stomping the Big Crim to death.

"Ray! Send this off to that grouchy old lady who works at the front desk! I don't remember her name! Anyway, she can make this man into mince to serve to the crims in the clink! Boy oh boy do I hate crims! Bwerrrrn!"

Guv stomped away, Ray Blondecunt scuttling after him.

"THIS PLACE IS CORRUPT! I MISS MY FUTURE PLANET WHICH SMELLS LIKE PLASTIC AND PIZZA HUT!" Shouted Sam.

"Nah, nah, it's not corrupt, it's nice," said Chris.

"I LOVE IT WHEN WE FIGHT! I CAN'T STAY MAD AT YOU! MY DICK TIP IS DRENCHED WITH MOISTURE!"

Sam flipped Chris over, pulled down his pants, and then squished a digit into Chris's anus.

"Oof! Ah ahh aaah!"

"COME FOR ME!"

"Yes my angry bowlcut papi," Chris sighed, before his juicy fruit released a burst of flavour into his jocks.

[LATER AT NIGHT AT THE COP SHOP]

"AH, I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE CLOWNS!"

Sam ran around the office, flipping over paper, and eating cigarette butts.

"MAYBE THAT CLOWN IS LIKE THE LOCAL BARTENDER! JAMAICAN! BECAUSE JAMAICAN ME CRAZY!"

"Yah you're real crazy…. Crazy, sexy, cool."

It was the Gene Genie. He was wearing nothing but a jockstrap. The jockstrap was swollen with erect penis. A nut had fallen out.

"WOW!" Shouted Sam, pointing at the Guv's nut. "BET YOUR WIFE LOVES THAT NUT!"

"I haven't got a wife." The Guv began plodding towards Sam, his nut swinging ominously. "I go home to a bunch of boxes. I have assembled the boxes into a vaguely human shape. I have drawn a face on the top box. I call her "Missus GUV" and I like to kiss her and sing David Bowie songs to her. But they're not really David Bowie songs. They are songs that I have invented myself, that I think David Bowie would like."

"… WOW."

"Yes, Sam. Wow indeed."

The Guv pounced on Sam, smashing his nut up against Sam's nose so Sam couldn't breathe. Sam, smothered under the abominable ginger spoodge sack, started to struggle around. But it was not enough! The Guv took off his ugly black trousers! His ugly grey shirt! His ugly white singlet! His ugly burgundy jocks! All that Sam had left on were his ugly white loafers! Oh, the humanity!

Once Sam was finally stripped, Guv allowed him to breathe, before resting his arsehole against Sam's forehead. Guv's other half was down near Sam's hip bones. Guv took Sam's pasty chicken penis into his mouth and began to slobber all over it.

"AAH!"

"Bweeeerrrrgghhh! Blubbubbubububbububuh!"

"NOOOO!" Sam found himself becoming horny against his own will. He tried to think of Chris, but his thoughts were clouded by the scent of the Guv's potent tang.

"Don't fight the tang, Sam! This is old school love! This is instinct stink!"

Sam could feel the muscles in his rectum begin to unwind, and his precious hole began to pucker. The Guv spat on the hole's preciousness, before rudely cramming his massive veined todger into it.

"Huururrururururuuuuuuurrrgh, that's so tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightah!" Guv screamed, before blasting a big glob of man butter into Sam's guts.

[A WEEK OR SO LATER]

Sam was hobbling around the cop shop like a bat that had fallen out of a tree because it had eaten too many fermented kiwis.

"What's wrong my love?" Asked Chris as he slurped up his tea like a sloppy old dipshit.

"I NEED TO SHIT! I'VE WORKED IT OUT! ONCE I SHIT, I CAN GO HOME!"

"No no, after you do a poopy, we still have to be policemen."

"DON'T WANNA!" Sam keeled over and began to pant, his swollen belly, presumably filled with poo, quivering.

"Ray Somefuckindude, get the doctor!" Chris flopped out of his chair and crawled towards him. He crawled about two feet. Then he was at Sam. He clapped a clammy hand to Sam's sweaty brow. Sam winced. His forehead still had some of the Guv's asshole dewdrops on it. Sam didn't shower much.

"Nwurrrrghhahurrrghaaaah, it's my baby!"

"Whaaaar?"

"Me babby!"

Guv punched Chris out, and Chris fell to the floor like a string of sausages in a wet sack.

"GENE, THIS BABY CAN'T BE REAL! I'M IN A COMA!"

"Asleep or not, this babby is going to bust out of your arsehole any second now!"

"NAH!" Sam began to push, scrawny legs kicking in the air. Guv removed his ugly black trousers and ugly burgundy underpants, leaving the ugly white loafers.

"WeeeeARGH! WeeeARGH!" The unholy spawn within Sam started to cry out. Some cum and watery crap expelled from his asshole. Sam's asshole, not the unholy spawn's.

"WOWEE!" Shouted Sam, as a baby covered in seed and turd shot out of his belly and through his anal cavity.

Tears began to leak out of Guv's eyes.

"Finally you're real… Missus GUV."

"PERHAPS YOU SHOULD SING IT A SONG!"

"Yes… I shall sing to her a Bowie song…"

FIN.

BONUS MATERIAL… FOR THE FANS. GUV'S BOWIE SONG.

"Oooh, I'm slicker than a Slapchop salesman,

"But can anyone have a Slapchop… in the Seventies?

"Feeling like I'm stuffed in a completely bananas Spam can,

"I anally raped Sam,

"Oof goof wham bam,

"He received my anal…. cheese.

"Anal cheese….

"Tangerine dream…

"Pissing into a dipshit's teacup,

"Spoofing into a spaceman's space gut,

"Out of this space gut came my spaced out poo baby."


End file.
